this week (and only this week) we're offering the "sense of freedom"

wouldn't you like to have a sense of freedom? don't you desire a sense of freedom? our constitution guarantees
a sense of freedom

yea, but hey you say
"a sense of fredom", "a sense of smell",
or heaven forbid "common sense"

hey, everyone knows by now that stan is "below the sea level of common sense".
how can you sell a "sense of freedom"? well our sense of freedom is spelled C-E-N-T-S

yea!, as in "one cent", but its more - its plural!
you get "two" cents worth when you buy stan's "cents of freedom"!
because that's exactly what you get - "two cents"

but hey, there's more!

flip over your "cents of freedom" and look at the back! - there it is, the lincoln memorial
now look very closely right into the center... between the pillars, look hard...
cause it's microscopic... but look very closely... right there on lincoln's lap.... it's stan!
he has embossed himself on the back of the penny!