people have been telling us we have
too many products on the market.

"isn't there just one product
that can solve all my problems?"

well yea, we're offering
a new product that is "simple",
"stable" and ultimately "safe"

we are happy to introduce
stan's Big Red Brick

yea, the Big Red Brick -
when you order stan's Big Red Brick - it can solve all your problems.

feel like your not measuring up in life? wish you were taller?
get stan's Big Red Brick and stand on it...... hey, you're 6 feet tall!

most important - it's simple and it's stable, but most importantly..... it is safe

stan's Big Red Brick

"hey, i don't like my nose! i've got a big honker of a schnauz -
can stan's Big Red Brick help me with that?" - sure!

grab the brick in your right hand and close your eyes. now, smash your face
- your nose is noticeably smaller, and you have improved your appearance

"hey", you say, "i'm having trouble with my neighbor. can stan's Big Red Brick help me?"

well, yea..... of course.

you could order a couple tons of stan's Big Red Bick
and build a fence between you and your neighbor - but hey, that'd be kinda expensive.

why not order just one stan's Big Red Brick -
then hide in the bush and wait for your neighbor to come out for his morning paper -
heave the brick in his direction..... he won't be bothering you anymore. problem solved.