Love is Cruel

For Kara

Rodimus reread the grim message. His frown deepened. Medic First Aid skipped a word three times in his report, indicating exhaustion. Rodimus liked that even less than the note regarding Sideswipe.

As Roddi approached Optimus’ quarters, he dialed an order to First Aid to take three days (seventy-two hours) off. He’s not to take or receive reports, perform procedures of any kind or be harassed by any of his staff. He’s to refuel, recharge and relax.

As for Sideswipe, Rodimus needed to discuss that with Optimus, his partner-on-the-hot-seat.

"I am aware of Sideswipe’s inability to cope."

Rodimus disliked Opt’s tone. "And you were going to do what about it?"

"I don’t know."

"Ohh! You were going to wait until *I* brought it up. Is that it?"

"I’m open to suggestions, Rodimus."

"Of course you are, because you’ve not bothered to deal with it."

"Have you? Why do I get the feeling this is less about the twins and more about something else?"

"Don’t you dare change the subject"

"Right. The subject was of Sideswipe’s coping abilities; that his brother is dying."

"It’s more than that."

"It is?"

"It’s two halves of a whole that’s falling apart and something needs to be done before we’ll lose them both!"

"You’re right, Rodimus. I’ll just go down town to the nearest Siblings R’ Us and get Sideswipe a new brother. That’ll patch everything nicely."

"How can you be so slagging cold about this?"

"Do you really think there’s any therapy clever enough or strong enough to help him forget his brother? It’s called ‘collateral damage’, Rodimus. When a bomb destroys a building, all the buildings around it suffer the affects. When two people’s lives are connected, they live and die en tandem. You’re right about Sideswipe. But other than distractions and support, I have no answers. The only person who can save Sideswipe, ultimately, is Sideswipe.

Rodimus fell silent. The anger melted to sorrow. I hate it when you’re right."

"You’re right, too. I should have thought of assigning someone to Sideswipe-someone stubborn enough to be a pain in his aft."

"Magnus and I are too busy."

"Mm. Assign... Doublecross to him and assign both to the Sunset Kummya. Give him clearance to visit Sunstreaker twice a day. Give him a light workload and keep it on a five-day rotation. He needs to be busy."

Rodimus nodded as Optimus answered a text message and signed it.

Uncomfortable quiet made Rodimus want to leave. But he had to stay and summon the courage to speak his mind. "Op. Um," he could not meet Optimus’ line of sight. "You know, in his place, I’d be just as messed up as Sideswipe. I mean, I can bluff my way through everything. But... some things can’t be fixed."

Optimus set his work down and paused. "Love is cruel, isn’t it, Roddi? It can make you more than a whole person and give you reasons to laugh and live. But when it’s gone and all you have are snapshots of memory, that vortex inside can swallow you whole, leave you vulnerable."

Rodimus nodded, aching over his own losses. "So how do you recover from that?"

Optimus shook his head. "You either move on, or you stop living, Roddi. There is no recovery."